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“make me wanna holler, throw up both my hands…” -marvin gaye

January 25, 2008

Today is Friday. A lazy Friday at that. I’m a home working on some music. I got hungry, and so I went to the kitchen, heated up left over spaghetti, and sat down on the couch for a late lunch. Naturally, sadly, I picked up the remote to flip through the very few channels my roommate and I pay for. I happened upon maury povich’s talk show. Before you judge me, please trust that is not my typical afternoon activity! Something made me stop. Not sure what, but doesn’t it seem that some mysterious thing sucks us into these things?? So I watched for a few minutes. Long enough to watch a woman named Missy tell her husband, Freddie, that she cheated on him twice with two different men and that their children may not be his. Paternity tests further proved that he was in fact not the father of the two children he has come to love and support. And Missy cried and cried and cried. Sobbed in fact. And Freddie cried and cried and cried. And about 100 people sat and watched it all happen and responded with hoots and hollers some laughter and some clapping. And I cried. Honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it broke my heart into pieces. I watched lives fall apart and thought of the hurt those children will go through later in life. Something incredibly dark came into my living room with the realization of how disgusting this world really is in some ways. What is so twisted and destroyed from the way God intended things, that people are entertained by the brokenness of people’s lives? And then there’s this new show about telling the truth vs. lying where they hook someone up to a lie detector machine and sit them in front of people they love and ask such sensitive questions that the answers could ruin relationships, careers, reputations, etc. Now, I’m not stupid. I know these people aren’t victims, since they have chosen and agreed to be on these shows. But. It’s so sad to watch such brokenness and pain and to know that something prompts that despair to be displayed for society’s entertainment and enjoyment. And I can’t even watch the news. Heath Ledger died this week. And the death of this brilliant young actor is swimming in pain and desperation. This world is not my home, and I’m thankful for that. But I hurt so so much for the people who believe that this world is their home. Because what hopelessness must accompany that belief! To watch these things on tv and on the news and see what’s going on on this earth and believe that this is all the hope that we have. But there is TRUTH… whether people believe it or not. There’s more… and all the stuff that hurts here isn’t involved. Seems to take the hopelessness right out of life, right? I can’t wait to go home! My heart aches for it! But, for now, this is we have… and God blesses us in it. Praise Him! His Kingdom come. We are called and charged pursue God’s Kingdom while we are here on earth. And we do and we will. I pray that God always let’s my heart break on Friday afternoons when I happen upon the Maury show. As silly as that sounds… I pray that I am always as sensitive to hopelessness and hurt as God’s heart is. Fight with me?

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