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“it’s the choice of a lifetime, i’m almost sure…” -david wilcox

January 25, 2008

(written on May 6, 2006)
there is much to be said. much has happened in the last couple of months. so much, that i haven’t really had the energy to say anything really… let alone, say it all. God is so good and so funny all the time. i love that i am spending my life with Him. i get to see the coolest stuff! well, first things first… for those who don’t know… while nannying in seaside last month, i watched the breath be taken from a child, and had the opportunity to give it back to him. a 2 year old fell in the pool and nearly drowned. he was blue and not breathing. my friend sarah called 911 while i did cpr. it’s like nothing else to breathe into the lungs of a lifeless child and watch him regain life. amazing. i experienced the strength and comfort of God’s hand and face in those short, yet seemingly enduring, moments. not to mention the moments that followed the rest of the week. the adults we were with ministered to the 2 of us more than i can tell you. not only did i see God do something that still makes me fall on my face in front of Him, but i also got to watch Him in the lives of the people around me. there aren’t words to say what i now know of who He is, but i can promise you that, if there were, they would be the most precious and beautiful words ever heard or spoken. 
as life changing as all that was… about a month later, i moved to atlanta. yes, that’s right, i am currently an atlantaliver (thanks for the vocabulary, jordan lloyd). a few months ago, i looked at God and told Him what i desired to do with my life. now, i’ve been saying the same thing to Him for many a year now. but this time i added the most important part, that i had been missing this whole time. once i told Him what i wanted, i also told Him that it was His, and that whatever capacity He had for me to do that in, i would do it. no matter what. from that night until right now i have been in a whirlwind of change. i feel like i have just been sitting back and watching Him do these incredible tricks i never imagined. if you’d like to get coffee someday and hear just how astounding God is, give me a call. i won’t go into the entire intricate story here… on myspace… considering how dorky it is to blog anyway, right? what i will say here is that God has been my God of all comfort, my King, my Hiding Place, my Provider, my active and living God everyday. as i walk casually through my own life with my hands in the air, being oh so careful not to touch anything, simply following the leader, He has been leading into the most amazing places. pointing out the most incredible things. and teaching me all about everything i see. i’m simply a child, following in wonder as her Father teaches her about things beyond her own imagination… loyal and content to know her Father as Hero and all others as mere passersby… what could they know? my life is worth nothing but the for the glory of Christ in me. my voice is worth nothing but for the pleasure of my King. so leaving… taking this step- nay- overwhelming leap of faith has proven to be my good. the less i am capable of something, the more He is glorified when it is accomplished. so i made my choice to simply let go of the things i had been holding so tightly to and diminish myself as much as possible. and it has been the best choice i have ever made, thus far in my life. even the rough parts are amazing. in some ways, they’re the best parts, because they’re the parts God keeps using to blow me away by showing me new things about His nature and His strength and His sovereignty.
the blueprint, David Wilcox, has it right. the choices we make cannot be deliberated until the moment to make them is gone. making no choice at all, in fear, is making the wrong choice. the only right choice is to follow Him at all costs, and then simply hold those decisions made along the way up to the Light. He is so good. call me sometime and we’ll talk more about it.

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