“i cry in the night just to be saved…” -phil wickham

January 25, 2008

(written on December 13, 2006)
I am being rescued. 

Oftentimes, we look at our lives as the beginning and end of ourselves. So we take the moments throughout our earthly lives and string them along together as ups and downs. A roller coaster mentality. So there’s the good, and then there’s the bad. And then, it seems the bad never ends. Until it does, and then the good makes us see the bad as “lessons learned”. We like to refer to these times in our lives as “trials”, making them worth something. Making some good out of them. So, through all the bad times, I find myself begging to be rescued, asking God to deliver me. Every girl longs to be rescued. It is why we love the Disney princesses so much. We long to be held captive by our wicked stepmothers, and to be tricked into eating a poison apple left for dead in a glass case, and to be held in deep slumber in a tower guarded by thorns and dragons. We don’t long to stay there, only UNTIL our handsome prince comes to save the day. Perhaps, He is rescuing me all the time, even when it seems I need rescuing. Perhaps He rescues me in little ways all the time. I am being delivered every moment of my life, even when it seems I am drowning. I know a similar story. Peter took His eyes off his Savior, and fixed them on His seemingly impossible situation. And then, he truly believed he was perishing. He panicked. He let the “what if” creep in. What if He doesn..t come to my rescue? What if I die here? What if the bad overcomes me and I can’t beat it? What if the good never comes and this is where it all ends up? Even with the One who allowed Him to walk on the water in the first place right there, He wondered. Christ allows me to walk on the water all the time. And yet, there are moments when I am walking on water and I fix my eyes on my situation. I don..t see my situation as walking on water, I see myself as drowning. Even in the seemingly impossible situations, He is delivering me. Rescing me. I find myself begging for Him to come to my rescue. Truth be told, perhaps that..s a silly request. Maybe He doesn..t need to come at all. I don’t really think I serve a God that stands in the wings, watching me perform, rushing to pick me up when I fall. I believe I serve a God who is my balance. A God who dances with me. He is rescuing me all the time. He doesn..t need to come, because He is already holding me up with His righteous right hand. So, in the midst of all these storms and the waves and the scariness, I will keep my eyes on Christ. I will realize that I am walking on water. I am not drowning. I am in a constant state of rescue, deliverance, mercy. He truly is my Savior. In so many ways. One action did not make Him my Savior. He did not save me from my sins. He is constantly saving me. Upholding me. Loving me. Actively loving me. Praise God.


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