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“everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades…” -joel houston

January 25, 2008

(written on July 25, 2007)
so, i’m incredibly busy these days. incredibly. running from one thing to the next getting very little sleep. having a blast. that’s kinda how i like it. and it’s painful to a degree, but that good kinda hurt. the kind of hurt you could get addicted to, ya know? the kind of hurt that makes you keep biting a sore on the inside of your mouth. so, i was just now upstairs in our office sitting at my friends desk leaving her a note telling of my love for her. and to the left of her computer is a picture of her and her husband. she loves her husband a lot, and never ceases to sing his praises. it’s really sweet and encouraging. so i was just sitting there looking at that picture, and my mind wandered to the first and only time i’ve ever met mike nelson. (follow me here, it’s a strange process of thought) i had just spent a week with the catalyst team in orlando promoting catalyst at another conference. we had just pulled back in town on what was the last night of an event called Q that catalyst had coupled with another organization called relevate to put on. we literally stopped into the tabernacle (my very favorite venue in atlanta) minutes before rob bell began to speak. and then we took communion. and then we worshipped. and that was one of the top moments of worship for me here in atlanta. and for a few moments, my world slowed down and moved at normal speed. the speed at which God intends for me to move. and then. it picked right back up. i tried to say hi to everyone i knew and hadn’t seen in a while, and tried to help clean up, and tried to meet new people, and tried to catch up with my friend, and tried to leave all at once. and that’s when i met mike nelson. and while looking at that picture just now, i tried to recall the picture in my head of that meeting and that person. and i couldn’t. it’s blurry. like i am sprinting through life trying to take pictures as i go. every single one will be blurry and without distinction. and, for some strange reason, that picture just now reminded me to slow down. that i want a series of beautiful and detailed still frames in my mind and heart throughout my life, not just blurry shots of people blinking and opening their mouth. i want to be intentional and carefully capture the people around me with precision and art.

the other day was my 24th birthday. and i didn’t ask myself how i got that old. i was blessed to realize just how young that number really is. it was the best birthday i’ve had in a long long time… maybe ever. on my acutal birthday, my best friend came into town and we went to buckhead church for a night of worship. i couldn’t think of anything more perfect to do on one’s birthday than to celebrate the One who created him or her. and we sang “from the inside out”. and that song has always been powerful to me, but i had a crazy thought during it that night. God is the only thing or person i know who encompasses every meaning of the words “everlasting” and “all”. they can mean the exact opposite of each other, and yet the same thing. the Bible says “from everlasting to everlasting You are God”. that means that from forever behind us to forever to come. not only stretched out over time in one direction, but the other as well. and “all”. i realized about a year ago that He is all that i am and all that i have. not only is He the only thing that i am and have… but He is everything that i am and have. (does that make any sense? because it blew me away) and so, as scatterbrained as all this most certainly seems, it strikes me that God doesn’t move at my pace. that i feel like i’m racing everywhere and He goes with me to all these places. but the truth is that, in a way that i may never comprehend, God moves at His own time. and perhaps instead of pulling Him along with me, i should just focus, breathe and intentionally move at His pace… whatever that may be. i slept 14 hours last night. it was well needed. and i’ll be at the beach next week. i can’t wait to soak Him in and lay with my head in His lap and rest. but more than that, i shouldn’t have to take vacations with Him. He is my rest. all the time. i love being on the go and being busy, but i need to love being intentional and precise with every moment i’m given. be careful then how i live, for the days are evil…

my character is defined by my intentionality, NOT my intentions.

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